A conversation between Shane and me from just last night...
Me: Did you know I graduated second in my class in college?
Shane: No.
Me: Well, I did.
Shane: Really? Wow.
Me: Yeah. Maybe I should get a career instead of just doing this housewife thing.
Shane: Maybe.
Me: I am really smart, you know.
Shane: I know you are.
Me: I can do anything if I put my mind to it.
Shane: I know you can.
Me: I strive for excellence in everything I do.
Shane: I know you do.
Me: Well, except being a wife... I have not figured that one out yet.
Shane: Yeah. True.
Me: That is the one thing I am bad at... yet that is the situation God has put me in.
Shane: I bet you could do it if you set your mind to it, though.
Me: (laughing)
Shane: Valentine's Day is coming up. That would be a good time to start...
Me: (laughing more)
Shane: You should try it. I bet you could be an excellent wife.
Isn't it funny how the uncomfortable things... the foreign things... the most unappealing things... are often the things God calls you to focus on? To let him speak to you about? I would much rather focus on something that comes naturally and easy to me. And yet God has called me not to use my smarts, but to use my heart. Not to lead, but to follow. He wants me to learn more about this wife thing because it is important to him.
This makes me squirm. I try to look away and ignore God about how I'm doing as Shane's wife, but God keeps bringing it to the surface where I can see its importance from his perspective. I try to think of something better to do, something with a bigger purpose... and there sits that big hairy guy, just waiting to be loved on. What's a girl with a 4.0 GPA to do?! I mean, come on. I am special, right?!
But, from a biblical perspective, I know that being a great wife is something God is calling me to do -- precisely because it doesn't come easy for me. I really am not very good at it. To be blunt, taking care of another adult human being feels awkward. Mothering comes a lot easier for me than wifing. But that doesn't mean it's wrong for me to become a better, more dedicated wife. Or even that God has some grander purpose in mind for my life. The place where I am weakest is the place where God can best show his strength.
Women, this world trains us to value big achievements more than little services. If God has put you in a marriage or given you a child, let me just say it... it is no small thing. Nobody says this anymore, but families are at the very heart of God and building up his Kingdom, and your most menial work as a wife is more important than you realize. Stick it out with me and don't run from it. Or if you've started running from it, turn around and come home. It's never too late to accept what could be God's biggest accomplishment in your heart and in the lives of those around you.
3 comments:
Wow Kate thank you for sharing your heart and struggle. I know I struggle with the idea of the value and reward of being a housewife.
I can really relate to this one right now. It would come much easier to me to be doing any sort of career than mothering and wifing at home. Sometimes I feel like what I'm doing is insignificant compared to all the dreams of "success" I had growing up. For me, I believe staying home is only for a time, but I have to trust and be faithful to what I'm called to do for now. And, let's face it, when I was trying to do it all, for me at least, it led to complete exhaustion and stress. Success in God's eyes is more important than success in the world's eyes.
Sara, I think many of us have struggled with it at some point. I know God has a freedom for us, right where we are, if only we would take it.
Rebecca, feelings can be so deceptive, but no matter how we feel we both know the truth that our role as a wife is something God designed for us and therefore is GOOD. I agree that success in God's eyes is the most important kind!
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